Introduction:
Today, we will look into the life of David, a man known as a man after God’s own heart, yet a man who also experienced seasons of dysfunction and turmoil. We will explore four specific seasons in David’s life where dysfunction reigned, and how he responded to these challenges.
Season 1: Dysfunctional Birth Family (1 Samuel 16:1-11)
[1Sa 16:1-11 NASB20] 1 Now the LORD said to Samuel, “How long are you going to mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, because I have chosen a king for Myself among his sons.” 2 But Samuel said, “How can I go? When Saul hears [about it,] he will kill me.” But the LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ 3 “And you shall invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will let you know what you shall do; and you shall anoint for Me the one whom I designate to you.” 4 So Samuel did what the LORD told [him,] and he came to Bethlehem. Then the elders of the city came trembling to meet him and said, “Do you come in peace?” 5 And he said, “In peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” He also consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. 6 When they entered, he looked at Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’S anointed is [standing] before Him.” 7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not [see] as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass before Samuel. But he said, “The LORD has not chosen this one, either.” 9 Next Jesse had Shammah pass by. And he said, “The LORD has not chosen this one, either.” 10 So Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 Then Samuel said to Jesse, “Are these all the boys?” And he said, “The youngest is still left, but behold, he is tending the sheep.” So Samuel said to Jesse, “Send [word] and bring him; for we will not take our places at the table until he comes here.”
From the moment of his birth, David faced dysfunction within his own family. His father, Jesse, disregarded him, as seen when Samuel initially overlooked David as a potential king. This disregard was further exacerbated by David’s brothers, who treated him poorly and belittled him.
[1Sa 17:28-29 NASB20] 28 Now Eliab his oldest brother heard [him] when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger burned against David and he said, “Why is it that you have come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I myself know your insolence and the wickedness of your heart; for you have come down in order to see the battle.” 29 But David said, “What have I done now? Was it not [just] a question?”
In this season, David faced rejection and isolation within his own family. Despite this, David remained faithful to God and found solace in his relationship with Him. He sought refuge in the fields, tending to his father’s sheep, and it was during this time that David’s faith and trust in God began to grow.
ACTION: David took advantage of this time of life to prepare himself for his favored future.
- He taught himself to play the lyre.
- He learned the art of writing songs and lyrics.
- He honed his skills as a warrior, defending his flock against the attacks of a lion and a bear.
Season 2: Dysfunctional Relationship with Saul (1 Samuel 18:9)
[1Sa 16:14-18, 21-23 NASB20] 14 Now the Spirit of the LORD left Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD terrified him. 15 Saul’s servants then said to him, “Behold now, an evil spirit from God is terrifying you. 16 “May our lord now command your servants who are before you. Have them search for a man who is a skillful musician on the harp; and it shall come about whenever the evil spirit from God is upon you, that he shall play [the harp] with his hand, and you will become well.” 17 So Saul said to his servants, “Now select for me a man who can play well, and bring [him] to me.” 18 Then one of the young men responded and said, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite who is a skillful musician, a valiant mighty man, a warrior, skillful in speech, and a handsome man; and the LORD is with him.” … 21 Then David came to Saul and attended him; and [Saul] greatly loved him, and he became his armor bearer. 22 So Saul sent [word] to Jesse, saying, “Let David now be my attendant for he has found favor in my sight.” 23 So it came about whenever the [evil] spirit from God came to Saul, David would take the harp and play [it] with his hand; and Saul would feel relieved and become well, and the evil spirit would leave him.
[1Sa 18:5-9 NASB20] 5 And David went [into battle] wherever Saul sent him, [and always] achieved success; so Saul put him in charge of the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. 6 Now it happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with [other] musical instruments. 7 The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” 8 Then Saul became very angry, for this lyric displeased him; and he said, “They have given David [credit for] ten thousands, but to me they have given [credit for only] thousands! Now [what] more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David with suspicion from that day on.
As David entered into service under King Saul, another season of dysfunction emerged. Saul’s jealousy and paranoia towards David led to David fleeing for his life and living in exile. Despite his loyalty and service to Saul, David faced betrayal and persecution.
ACTION: In response to this adversity, David remained steadfast in his faith and sought God’s guidance and protection. He refused to retaliate against Saul, choosing instead to trust in God’s timing and deliverance. And, when it became obvious that Saul would not stop until he had killed David, David left and lived in exile until Saul fell upon his own sword.
QUOTE: "Sometimes someone needs to leave, and sometimes that someone is you!"
Season 3: Self-Inflicted Dysfunction (2 Samuel 11:1)
[2Sa 11:1-17 NASB20] 1 Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out [to battle,] that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they brought destruction on the sons of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed in Jerusalem. 2 Now at evening time David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance. 3 So David sent [servants] and inquired about the woman. And [someone] said, “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” 4 Then David sent messengers and had her brought, and when she came to him, he slept with her; and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house. 5 But the woman conceived; so she sent [word] and informed David, and said, “I am pregnant.” 6 Then David sent [word] to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” So Joab sent Uriah to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked about Joab’s well-being and that of the people, and the condition of the war. 8 Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house, and wash your feet.” So Uriah left the king’s house, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the door of the king’s house with all the servants of his lord, and did not go down to his house. 10 Now when they informed David, saying, “Uriah did not go down to his house,” David said to Uriah, “Did you not come from a journey? Why did you not go down to your house?” 11 And Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in temporary shelters, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Should I then go to my house to eat and drink and to sleep with my wife? By your life and the life of your soul, I will not do this thing.” 12 Then David said to Uriah, “Stay here today also, and tomorrow I will let you go [back.]” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the day after. 13 Now David summoned Uriah, and he ate and drank in his presence, and he made Uriah drunk; and in the evening [Uriah] went out to lie on his bed with his lord’s servants, and he [still] did not go down to his house. 14 So in the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent [it] by the hand of Uriah. 15 He had written in the letter the following: “Station Uriah on the front line of the fiercest battle and pull back from him, so that he may be struck and killed.” 16 So it was as Joab kept watch on the city, that he stationed Uriah at the place where he knew there [were] valiant men. 17 And the men of the city went out and fought against Joab, and some of the people among David’s servants fell; and Uriah the Hittite also died.
In perhaps the most tragic season of dysfunction in David’s life, he succumbed to temptation and committed adultery with Bathsheba, leading to the murder of her husband, Uriah. This sin had devastating consequences, including the death of their child.
Despite his grave mistakes, David humbled himself before God, repented of his sins, and sought forgiveness. He recognized the gravity of his actions and turned back to God in repentance and obedience.
[2Sa 12:1-5, 7-9, 13 NASB20] 1 Then the LORD sent Nathan to David. And he came to him and said, “There were two men in a city, the one wealthy and the other poor. 2 “The wealthy man had a great many flocks and herds. 3 “But the poor man had nothing at all except one little ewe lamb Which he bought and nurtured; And it grew up together with him and his children. It would eat scraps from him and drink from his cup and lie in his lap, And was like a daughter to him. 4 “Now a visitor came to the wealthy man, And he could not bring himself to take [any animal] from his own flock or his own herd, To prepare for the traveler who had come to him; So he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 5 Then David’s anger burned greatly against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the LORD lives, the man who has done this certainly deserves to die! … 7 Nathan then said to David, “You yourself are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel says: ‘It is I who anointed you as king over Israel, and it is I who rescued you from the hand of Saul. 8 ‘I also gave you your master’s house and [put] your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if [that had been] too little, I would have added to you many more things like these! 9 ‘Why have you despised the word of the LORD, by doing evil in His sight? You have struck and killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, you have taken his wife as your wife, and you have slaughtered him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. … 13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has allowed your sin to pass; you shall not die.
ACTION: [Psa 51:1-13, 17 NASB20] 1 For the music director. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Be gracious to me, God, according to Your faithfulness; According to the greatness of Your compassion, wipe out my wrongdoings. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my guilt And cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my wrongdoings, And my sin is constantly before me. 4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge. 5 Behold, I was brought forth in guilt, And in sin my mother conceived me. 6 Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in secret You will make wisdom known to me. 7 Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean; Cleanse me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness, Let the bones You have broken rejoice. 9 Hide Your face from my sins And wipe out all my guilty deeds. 10 Create in me a clean heart, God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And sustain me with a willing spirit. 13 [Then] I will teach wrongdoers Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You. … 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, God, You will not despise.
Season 4: Dysfunctional Family (2 Samuel 13:1)
[2Sa 13:1-12, 14-16 NASB20] 1 Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David was in love with her. 2 But Amnon was so frustrated on account of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed too difficult to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very clever man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom.” 5 Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please have my sister Tamar come and give me food to eat, and have her prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see [it] and eat from her hand.'” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please have my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of pastries in my sight, so that I may eat from her hand.” 7 Then David sent [a messenger] to the house for Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying [in bed.] And she took dough, kneaded [it,] made pastries in his sight, and baked the pastries. 9 Then she took the tray and served [them] to him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Have everyone leave me.” So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, so that I may eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the pastries which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. 11 When she brought [them] to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, sleep with me, my sister.” 12 But she said to him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful sin! … 14 However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and slept with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; indeed, the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up, go [away!]” 16 But she said to him, “No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!” Yet he would not listen to her.
Even as he reigned as king, David faced dysfunction within his own family. His sons Amnon and Absalom engaged in sinful behavior, leading to betrayal and violence within the royal family.
CONCLUSION:
The concept of God’s love for and acceptance of David as a man after His own heart reflects the New Testament concept of grace, which is unmerited favor from God, for contemporary believers in several ways. Through David’s life and relationship with God, we can see parallels to the grace and mercy that God offers to believers in the New Testament era.
Forgiveness and Restoration: Just as God forgave David for his sins and restored him to a place of favor and blessing, the New Testament teaches that through Jesus Christ, believers can receive forgiveness for their sins and be reconciled to God.
[Eph 2:8-9 NASB20] 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this [is] not of yourselves, [it is] the gift of God; 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
This passage highlights the unmerited favor and forgiveness that God extends to believers through His grace.
Relationship with God: David’s intimate relationship with God, characterized by his devotion and love for the Lord, mirrors the New Testament emphasis on the personal relationship that believers can have with God through Jesus Christ.
[Rom 5:8 NASB20] 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
This verse underscores God’s unconditional love and acceptance of believers, regardless of their past mistakes or shortcomings.
Transformation and Empowerment: Just as God transformed David from a shepherd boy to a mighty king, the New Testament teaches that believers are empowered by the Holy Spirit to live a life of faith, obedience, and spiritual growth.
[2Co 5:17 NASB20] 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, [this person is] a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
This passage emphasizes the transformative power of God’s grace in the lives of believers, enabling them to walk in victory and fulfill God’s purposes.
The story of David as a man after God’s own heart serves as a powerful illustration of God’s grace, mercy, and acceptance towards imperfect individuals who seek Him with sincerity and repentance. Through David’s life, we can glean valuable insights into the nature of God’s unmerited favor and love for His people, which continues to be extended to contemporary believers in the New Testament era. May we, like David, embrace God’s grace wholeheartedly and walk in the fullness of His love and acceptance in our lives.